after the last present is opened: a december devotional

So, it’s like this: I can’t shake the thought that holidays don’t feel like they used to.

Like…There is this “spirit of Christmas” and “magic of Christmastime” that is talked about in all our favorite Christmas movies, Christmas music and shows. Maybe you are like me and tend to watch some of the awesomely awful Hallmark or Lifetime Christmas movies where the term “Christmas miracle” is a must and where a big winter storm keeps the main character from getting back to their big city life when they visit their hometown with a super realistic name like “Hollyvale”, “Peppermint Hollow” or my favorite, “Cookie Jar”,

But back to this feeling all the talk of “Christmas spirit” creates in us..it’s like…we WANT this, we want to experience this, we want our kids to experience this.  We know it is something meaningful to the holiday season.  Something we are seeking after, but many moments feel like we can’t quite capture it.  We cultivate moments so that our emotions can be stirred up just the right way and yet we often fall short of achieving it.

What is it, we think-this feeling that eludes us? Must we consider Christmas to be essentially all about seeing our children’s joy as opposed to our own? Are the Christmas feels now felt primarily secondhand?

The moments of genuine excitement seem few and far between as we become adults and especially when we become parents. Sometimes we feel it a little; but if we are being honest with ourselves, many years we sit staring at the tree after the last present is opened, the parties have come and gone…the mad dash-the stress and the beauty of the Christmas season have now come to a screeching halt.  Speaking for myself, there is this internal disconnect some years..almost an intense letdown feeling that happens. Not that I am not grateful for a million things, but there lies this unmet desire still.

It reminds me of this Psalm that paints a picture I can relate to in how I feel during the holidays:

Psalm 63:1 says:
“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.”

I want to suggest to you that the holidays, and specifically Christmas, tap into that same deeply ingrained longing in us that the Psalm refers to-for closeness with God. It is a longing that is with us everyday, but yet seems amplified certain times of the year. A kind of homesickness knowing our home is in Heaven and life on Earth will always fall short.

This presents an idea worth taking some time to think about in the midst of this December sprint we are in. This shift in perspective could change our experience of the entire Christmas season. 

These desires..sometimes almost an ache… to feel joy and to feel the “spirit of Christmas” are made of the longing put in us by the same God who by the power of the Holy Spirit sent his son Jesus to save us. His birth is the whole point-the proverbial “reason for the season”. We know that if there had been no Christmas birth, then there would be no Easter resurrection.

The longing is also an invitation of sorts that calls us to move into acceptance of what is rather than what we think ought to be in the here and now. It calls us to lay down our many expectations we put on ourselves and our family and the expectations our family has for us at this time of year. We know that much of our discontent comes about when the holiday exposes the gaps between these expectations and reality.

I believe God wants to use this longing we feel at Christmas to draw all of us to Himself. To bring us out of our current realities and current emotions to tether us to his love. A love that gives us his supernatural peace when we are feeling the emotions that inevitably intensify in us during the holidays- love, grief, joy, loss, and hope to name a few.

In John 15:9 Jesus says:

“I have loved you, [just] as the Father has loved Me; abide in My love [continue in His love with Me].”

So when the presents and the food and the family gatherings are as fun as they can be, yet leave something deep down inside you desiring more, know that THAT longing was placed there by God.

Let it stir your heart and turn your eyes to Heaven. This Christmas, could it be that Jesus is inviting you into deeper waters-not only to BELIEVE in him with your mind, but to begin to truly TRUST him in every area of your life with your mind, body, heart and soul.  One is of occasional comfort while the other changes everything.

 For further meditation:

Abide With Me – Audrey Assad